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Up On The Roof

H/T: Gawker

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From Gawker: Five Foreign Cities To Move To When The Tea Party Takes Over America

Toronto

Buenos Aires

Stockholm

Vancouver

Paris

H/T: Gawker

I Still Miss Hunter S. Thompson

I saw this on Gawker. Classic (young) Hunter:

TO JACK SCOTT, VANCOUVER SUN
October 1, 1958 57 Perry Street New York City
Sir,
I got a hell of a kick reading the piece Time magazine did this week on The Sun. In addition to wishing you the best of luck, I'd also like to offer my services.
Since I haven't seen a copy of the "new" Sun yet, I'll have to make this a tentative offer. I stepped into a dung-hole the last time I took a job with a paper I didn't know anything about (see enclosed clippings) and I'm not quite ready to go charging up another blind alley.
By the time you get this letter, I'll have gotten hold of some of the recent issues of The Sun. Unless it looks totally worthless, I'll let my offer stand. And don't think that my arrogance is unintentional: it's just that I'd rather offend you now than after I started working for you. [...]
The enclosed clippings should give you a rough idea of who I am. It's a year old, however, and I've changed a bit since it was written. I've taken some writing courses from Columbia in my spare time, learned a hell of a lot about the newspaper business, and developed a healthy contempt for journalism as a profession.
As far as I'm concerned, it's a damned shame that a field as potentially dynamic and vital as journalism should be overrun with dullards, bums, and hacks, hag-ridden with myopia, apathy, and complacence, and generally stuck in a bog of stagnant mediocrity. If this is what you're trying to get The Sun away from, then I think I'd like to work for you.
Most of my experience has been in sports writing, but I can write everything from warmongering propaganda to learned book reviews.
I can work 25 hours a day if necessary, live on any reasonable salary, and don't give a black damn for job security, office politics, or adverse public relations.
I would rather be on the dole than work for a paper I was ashamed of. [...]
Sincerely, Hunter S. Thompson

Young'uns: stomp that terra!

Living Off The Fat Of The Land.

Gawker has noticed that Americans are big, fat slobs, too:

Fellow Americans: our diet has failed. More than 90% of us eat too much salt. We have to tax ourselves just to stop overdosing on soda. It's embarrassing. Fear not—an easy guide to eating healthy is just below!

*Never eat any food made in America.
*Sure, Cheetos taste delicious. But have you ever tried them dipped in Ranch dressing? Even better.
*Wait at least 30 minutes after eating to go swimming. This means you will never go swimming.
*Before you add extra salt to your food—stop! Ask yourself, "Does this food really need more salt?" Only add salt if the answer is "yes," rather than "no."
*Instead of three big meals per day, try eating five or six smaller meals. Then watch that gradually evolve into five or six huge meals, and rue the day you took that advice.
*Humans must get sufficient amounts of eight essential amino acids every day in order to survive. Before eating, break all your food down into isoleucine, leucine, lysine, methionine, phenylalanine, threonine, tryptophan, and valine to ensure you have enough.
*Eat your vegetables. If you can't find vegetables, eat nothing.
*If you find yourself becoming anorexic, your weight loss problems are solved.
*Did you know that Coca-Cola will literally dissolve a penny, if you leave it in there long enough? It really makes you think. Specifically, makes you wonder if you can still drink the Coke after that. Try it and find out.
*Japanese people eat a naturally healthier diet than Americans. Yea, except for the atom bomb fallout, amirite? USA.

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere.

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

H/T: Gawker

Gawker Covers The News So The MSM Doesn't Have To!

Why is it that a site like Gawker can come up with a piece that explains more about the inner workings and methodology of teabaggers via snark and an errant e-mail than actual news organizations can?

Like this:

"Tea Party Patriots" National Coordinator Jenny Beth Martin got a friendly little "media request" from CNBC: could you crazies maybe go crazy up a town hall somewhere? Sure, a 'Bagger says: how bout the guy who got the swastika?

Martin emailed the Tea Party listserve explaining that CNBC needed "lots of energy and lots of anger." She asked: "where are the big events this week and where can TPP best be represented on the news?"

Patriot and Teabagger Pat Wayman responded with a great suggestion: let's throw a riot at a health fair sponsored by Rep. David Scott (D-GA), the Congressman who got a swastika painted on his office sign last night!

Martin explained to TPM Muckraker that the Teabaggers would not be protesting that particular health fair, but the bit about CNBC specifically asking Tea Baggers to display "lot of anger" for their cameras was not disputed.

Gawker's securing and posting of the 'bagger e-mail shows us the symbiosis between that fake "grass-roots movement" and certain cable outlets, as well as exposes the manufactured "reality TV" aspect behind their schtick. It's also a nifty little piece of journalism--smart-ass or not.

Let's hope Gawker can get their hands on those promotional planning missives that surely exist between the teabagger hierarchy and FOX News--Your Complete Source of Tea Party Outrage; We Teabag So You Don't Have To!©