Life In The Fast Lane

From The Smoking Gun:

A Cincinnati woman was simultaneously masturbating with a sex toy and watching a pornographic video while driving last week, according to cops who arrested her on assorted criminal charges.
Colondra Hamilton, 36, was pulled over last Tuesday evening in a traffic stop triggered when cops noticed she was driving a 2008 Pontiac with overly tinted windows.
That’s when officers noticed that Hamilton’s pants were unbuttoned. And she had a vibrator in her lap. Questioned by cops, Hamilton admitted to engaging in auto erotic manipulation, and revealed that she had also been watching a porno movie that was playing on the laptop of a friend in the passenger seat, according to an Elmwood Place Police Department report.

No word on whether she was wearing her seat belt.

Slow Ride (Take It Easy...)

A Minnesota widower drove his tricked-out La-Z-Boy into a parked car near Duluth last summer and now his family is selling the ride on eBay.

From the Duluth News Tribune:

The motorized La-Z-Boy lounge chair that Proctor police seized after its owner hit a parked vehicle is going up for auction on eBay today. But the chair was not the only item related to the incident open for bidding.

The family of the chair’s former owner will put an autographed photo of Dennis LeRoy Anderson riding the chair on eBay.

“All proceeds will go to Dennis to help him with his fees,” said Tim Jorgenson, Anderson’s son-in-law.

Jorgenson and his wife, Andrea, have no hard feelings toward the Proctor police for seizing Anderson’s motorized chair.

“I feel they did their job,” Andrea Jorgenson said outside the Proctor Police Department this morning. “He shouldn’t have been drinking and driving.”

Andrea Jorgensen wanted people to know her father is a good person.

“He has had a hard time since Mom died five years ago,” she said.

Proctor Police Chief Walter Wobig said that Anderson is a “super-nice guy.”

Anderson pleaded guilty earlier this month in St. Louis County District Court to DWI in connection with an Aug. 31, 2008, incident in Proctor.

According to the criminal complaint, Anderson drove his motorized chair into a vehicle near a Proctor bar. His blood-alcohol content was measured at 0.29 percent, more than three times the legal limit to drive. There were no injuries in the incident.

Wobig said that the department had no choice but to seize the motorized chair. “We’ve seized ATVs, snowmobiles, trailers, cars and pickup trucks,” he said. “We want to be fair and equitable to everybody. We can’t show favoritism.”

The chair, which is powered by a lawnmower engine, includes a stereo, cup holder, magazine holder and lights.

Since word of the incident spread earlier this month, the Proctor police have received calls from media outlets around the nation and as far away as Great Britain.

Wobig doesn’t know how much the item may sell for. He said one man contacted him and said he was going to start the bidding off at $500. Wobig said that state statute determines how any money from the auction will be divided, with some going to the state, the court system and the police department.

Wobig plans on using the department’s portion of the money to help equip two new squad cars.

The interest in the chair has taken Wobig by surprise.

“I’ve been in law enforcement 31 years and I’ve never seen anything like this,” he said.