He Died With A Little Help From His Friends.

From Shanghaiist.com:

A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.
The 59-year-old man, a chef, was reportedly taken to a Sichuan hospital complaining of abdominal pain, dehydration and a great deal of anal bleeding. He was soon diagnosed as being in a severe state of shock.
Doctors were mystified as to the cause, and obtained permission from his family to undertake an exploratory laparotomy. Cutting open his innards, they discovered a 50cm long Asian swamp eel lodged in his rectum.
Though dead, the eel had apparently already wrought havoc on his innards, biting its way through his intestines prior to dying. Internal bleeding and infection rapidly set in.
He was reported to have eaten a lot of eel the previous day, but otherwise doctors had no idea how the creature had got there. His condition quickly worsened.
He lingered for 10 days in intensive care but eventually succumbed to the injuries and sepsis.
The likely cause was eventually established - he had apparently been drinking with friends, and had passed out. His friends had decided it would be amusing to insert a live eel into his anus whilst he was comatose.
Police have reportedly begun an investigation.

All The World's A Stage.

That's the "family photo" of almost all the G20 leaders above. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is missing; he was apparently in the can.  

That's President Obama above with Prime Minister Berlusconi of Italy, Russian President Medvedev and Chinese President Hu Jintao at the G20 summit in London. 

From the AP:

Global leaders pledged an additional $1 trillion to restore credit, growth and jobs in the world economy on Thursday, exceeding expectations in their plan to deal with the financial crisis.

The Group of 20 nations also agreed to renounce protectionism and pledged $250 billion in trade finance over the next two years _ a key measure to help struggling developing countries, whom they promised to give a greater say in world economic affairs.

The G-20 also outlined a raft of policies to rebuild trust in the financial system, including a crackdown on tax havens and hedge funds and new rules on linking executive pay to performance.

While they did not agree to any new fiscal measures, Prime Minister Gordon Brown said the $1 trillion deal to boost funds for the International Monetary Fund, World Bank and other global institutions was unprecedented.

"Today the largest countries of the world have agreed on a global plan for economic recovery and reform," Brown said after hosting the emergency summit in London's Docklands district.

"For the first time we have a common approach to cleaning up banks around the world to restructuring of the world financial system. We have maintained our commitment to help the world's poorest," Brown said.

"This is a collective action of people around the world working at their best."

The sweeping G-20 communique bridged a gap between the United States and European countries led by France and Germany over how far to push changes on regulation to curb the market excesses that led to the current crisis.

Meanwhile, from Reuters:

Stocks added to gains on Thursday after the board that sets U.S. accounting standards agreed to give banks more flexibility in applying mark-to-market accounting to their toxic assets.

Optimism was also boosted as leaders of the G20 nations agreed to put an additional trillion dollars into the ailing global economy through extra funding for groups like the IMF.

The Dow Jones industrial average climbed 275.02 points, or 3.54 percent, to 8,036.62. The Standard & Poor's 500 Index rose 30.46 points, or 3.76 percent, to 841.54. The Nasdaq Composite Index jumped 64.06 points, or 4.13 percent, to 1,615.66.

And according to the Drudge Report, classless radio fat-ass Rush Limbaugh had this to say about today's financial news: "The markets love it when Obama's out of the country... is there a way to keep him over there for a while?"