Yes, Your Stockbroker Is A Drunk.

An item tucked away on Current.com:

An email making the rounds in the financial community: 

"If you had purchased $1,000 of United Airlines parent UAL stock one year ago, you would have $200 left. 

With Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000. With AIG, you would have less than $15 left. 

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle." 

Kramer and Newman are reportedly fielding offers from Goldman Sachs.