All That Glitters Isn't Purple & Gold.

From ESPN.com's Bill Simmons--admitted Celtic addict--and the rare media guy (along with  T.J. Simers of the L.A. Times) who doesn't try to French kiss Kobe Bryant: 

1. A friend of mine sat courtside with Matt Damon in seats to the left of the Lakers bench. During the third quarter, with Damon cheering on the Celtics in a green Celtics cap -- great job by him, by the way -- Phil Jackson barked at Damon, according to my friend, "Sit down and shut the f--- up." After getting texted that story, I spent the rest of the game rooting for a Boston comeback win, followed by Damon pulling a Will Hunting and asking Jackson, "Hey, Phil, do you like apples? (PAUSE) Well how 'bout them apples!!!!" Didn't happen.

2. Before Game 5, my Dad hadn't seen the Celtics play anywhere other than Boston in 35 years. Here was his take on the experience: "I can't believe how bad those Lakers fans are. I'm sure they have good fans in L.A., but none of them were at the game. They didn't try to affect the game at all. For big moments, they couldn't seem to decide whether they should sit or stand. Here's a hint: It's the Finals, you should stand. And the stands were so dark that I needed an entire souvenir Coke to stay awake. Maybe that's why their fans are so quiet. That was a really weird experience. I don't think I liked it. How can you live here?"

3. No Celtic would ever bitch out a teammate on the court like Bryant bitched out Gasol after the big Spainard failed to catch his 130-mph, no-look pass in the first half of Game 5. How can Lakers fans continue to defend such petulant behavior? You got me. But, hey, he must be a good guy because he can give press conferences while holding both of his kids. I have to admit, I'm a little Kobe'd out. Even politicians handle their public image less transparently -- we're almost at the point where Kobe's PR team is going to stage a fake fire in the Hollywood Hills and have Kobe "randomly" drive by the house, then run in to "save" three kids.

4. Boy, Kobe sure seems to have trouble scoring on these Shane Battier/Paul Pierce types, doesn't he? If someone's a little bigger than him, stays between him and the basket and has the reach to contest his jumper, and if that person is flanked by smart defenders who remain aware of what Kobe is doing at all times, it sure seems Kobe has trouble getting the shots he likes. Not to belabor the point because it's a moot discussion at this point, but MJ didn't have a "kryptonite" flaw. He just didn't. Of everyone from the '90s, John Starks probably defended him the best ... and it's not like Starks was shutting him down or anything. He just made MJ work a little harder for the points he was getting, anyway. The point is, Jordan did whatever he wanted during a much more physical era, and when he faced great defensive teams -- like the '89 and '90 Pistons or the '93 Knicks -- nobody ever shackled him or knocked him into a scoring funk. Kobe? He looks a little lost against the Celtics offensively. It's true. Same for the 2004 Finals against Tayshaun Prince, another lanky defensive player with a good reach. Just remember to mention this on his NBA tombstone some day.

Don't worry, Bill. I mention it every chance I get.