I Don't Care If I Never Get Back.

     JackRabbit Café's Twin Cities Man in the Street--The Best-Looking Man In Show Business Today--sent HQ a heads-up on an item he saw in The Minnesota Independent.

     It concerned the minor league St. Paul Saints baseball team, well-known in Minnesota and elsewhere for their topically clever marketing campaigns. That's the two-faced Coleman/Franken bobblehead above, outfitted as Sesame Street's "The Count," and hilariously playing off that state's still-unresolved U.S. Senate race between incumbent Norm Coleman and challenger Al Franken. 2,500 of the dolls will be given away at the May 23 game against the Sioux Falls Canaries.   

     I went to a Saints game a few years back and had a helluva good time--cheap tickets, great local beer and tons of food on lots of smoky grills all around the outside of the cozy ballpark. I could've hopped a freight train just beyond the fence, too.  

     If I had two hours to show space aliens the American Experience, I'd bring 'em to a minor league baseball game. I'll bet they'd never phone home again.  

     But, really: will any ballpark promo ever top the Bobblefoot, which was the Saints ode to dumbass Minneapolis airport stall boy and former Idaho Senator Larry Craig? 

     It even had a tapping foot.

     Hook-ups sold separately.

Babe Ruth Is Smiling Somewhere.

     From the AP:

     The staff dietitian at a doctors group says a minor-league baseball team in Grand Rapids, Mich., should warn fans that a 4,800-calorie burger it plans to sell is bad for them.

     Susan Levin of the Washington-based Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine sent a letter to the West Michigan Whitecaps on Tuesday. She wants the enormous burger to be labeled a "dietary disaster" that increases the risk of cancer and heart disease.

     The 4-pound, $20 burger features five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips -- all on an 8-inch bun.

     Whitecaps spokesman Mickey Graham says the team hasn't considered labeling the burger, which he says is a gimmick being promoted as a very unhealthy menu item.

     I take it that "Zero Trans Fat Salad Days" never really caught on.