The Missionary Position.

That George W. Bush is a born-again, fanatical asshole is no big surprise. Now news of a 2003 phone call to France shows just how willing he was to squander American lives over a fairy tale.

From the Council for Secular Humanism:

Incredibly, President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible’s satanic agents of the Apocalypse.

Honest. This isn’t a joke. The president of the United States, in a top-secret phone call to a major European ally, asked for French troops to join American soldiers in attacking Iraq as a mission from God.

Now out of office, Chirac recounts that the American leader appealed to their “common faith” (Christianity) and told him: “Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East…. The biblical prophecies are being fulfilled…. This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins.”

This bizarre episode occurred while the White House was assembling its “coalition of the willing” to unleash the Iraq invasion. Chirac says he was boggled by Bush’s call and “wondered how someone could be so superficial and fanatical in their beliefs.”

The Iraq War has cost nearly $700 billion. That's almost three-quarters of the cost being discussed for health care reform over a ten-year period. Where were all those budget-conscious teabaggers and town hall screamers when Bush was waging his jihad for Jesus, anyway?

Michael Jackson Drives Them Up A Tree.

This makes about as much sense as you'd expect:

From Channel 13 News in Stockton, CA:

A Stockton family says the image of Michael Jackson appeared on his tree stump the day the King of Pop died.

Like the "Virgin Grilled Mary" or "Cheesus," the family thinks they've got an unusual spiritual image staring right at them from their own front yard. Felix Garcia has lived in the house for 22 years, and has never noticed the apparent image in his birch tree stump.

"I was standing by that bush, and I looked up and saw that image here," Felix said.

Many people in the crowd who gathered to look at the stump Sunday afternoon saw the resemblance, but why would Michael Jackson appear instead of a religious figure -- or even any of the other celebrities who recently passed away?

"Because Michael Jackson was an icon to us," said one neighbor. "To Stockton, Michael Jackson meant more to us than Jesus, to some people. I think they're both about even."

Jacko sold more records, but Jesus moves more books.

For Christ's Sake...

From Politico.com:

After watching liberal allies of President Barack Obama flood the airwaves in support of the stimulus bill, a conservative third-party group is countering with a provocative new commercial using Jesus Christ to emphasize the scale of the $787 billion package. 

The American Issues Project, which briefly aired a TV spot in last year's presidential race, will go up on Friday with a TV spot that marks the dollars spent with the passage of time.

“Suppose you spent $1 million every single day starting from the day Jesus was born — and kept spending through today,” says the announcer as an image of the three wise men flashes on the screen. “A million dollars a day for more than 2,000 years. You would still have spent less money than Congress just did.” 

According to Chris LaCivita, an AIP consultant, they are spending just under $1 million on the ad, which will be aired on national cable.

The ad, titled “Every Single Day,” represents the first television campaign by conservatives in opposition to a bill that won only three Republican votes in the Senate and none in the House. 

LaCivita said AIP would also revive its website as part of an effort to take a more aggressive stance toward Obama and Democratic-controlled Washington. 

For all its criticism, the stimulus bill is designed to kick-start our dying economy. What is the almost $600 billion--and counting--being spent in Iraq designed to do?