Saturday, December 18, 2010

Turns Out You Can Judge A Book By Its Cover!

Gail Collins of the New York Times reminds us of the other myths being pushed by GOP hucksters this holiday season:

Mitt Romney is pushing “No Apology: The Case for American Greatness,” which is doing well in sales despite the fact that Romney’s central concern is whether America will become “the France of the 21st century.” Given all our problems, does that sound so bad to you, people? Your medical care would improve, your life expectancy lengthen and dinners would be much tastier.
Tim Pawlenty, the governor of Minnesota, is about to embark on a nationwide tour for “Courage to Stand: An American Story.” Be the first on your block to learn how T-Paw’s youthful struggles in South St. Paul gave him the courage and tenacity to balance the Minnesota state budget! Pawlenty’s background in many ways resembles that of the about-to-be House speaker, John Boehner, although I am relieved to note that he does not generally break into tears when talking about it.
Mike Huckabee has written eight books — quite an output, even though his latest, “Can’t Wait Till Christmas,” is only 32 pages. Some people will find that kind of brevity really attractive, particularly since in it Huckabee has nothing whatsoever to say about the federal budget.
Instead, we learn that when he was a youngster (spoiler alert) Huckabee prematurely opened up a gift that he correctly intuited was a football. It was only a hop, skip and a jump from there to understanding the true meaning of Christmas and becoming governor of Arkansas. Then Huckabee lived out his holiday fantasies by collecting a record $112,000 in presents in a single year, including $48,000 in clothing and a chainsaw.
That last part is not in the book.
Huckabee is a sluggard compared with Newt Gingrich, who has written 22 novels and works of nonfiction. Unless you have already gotten a head start on this project, I am sorry to say you’re probably not going to make it through the Gingrich oeuvre in time for the New Hampshire primary.
Gingrich has been twittering his followers with reminders that he’s got enough product to allow them to do all their Christmas shopping at Newtland. (“5 Principles for a Successful Life is #11 in Gingrich Productions’ 12 Days of Xmas Presents countdown.”)
Among the options are his latest nonfiction entry: “To Save America: Stopping Obama’s Secular-Socialist Machine.” This is the one that compares Democrats with Nazis.
It should not be confused with “Saving Freedom: How We Can Stop America’s Slide Into Socialism” by Senator Jim DeMint. That’s the one with a cover that shows the American flag behind barbed wire.
Maybe it’s just me, but neither one of the books really feels like Christmas.
Sarah Palin is out with “America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag.” One of the reflections missing is who did the writing. You have to get to the very end of the book, and work your way through the acknowledgements of Palin’s family, friends, our veterans, “Common-Sense Constitutionalists,” “Prayer Warriors” and her lawyer before she notes that conservative speechwriter Jessica Gavora did “most important work” on the tome.
Pawlenty’s helper, by the way, was Mark Dagostino, who previously co-authored “My Life Outside the Ring,” the autobiography of the former wrestler Hulk Hogan. As of this writing, Hogan is not a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination.

Wouldn't Hulk Hogan be an upgrade?


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