Congress--with no real pressing matters to contend with--has asked the Justice Department (also with nothing better to do) to investigate whether Roger Clemens lied to a House committee about those pesky needles sticking out of his ass.
The mercenary hurler--as famous for his head-hunting and dumb-jock arrogance as for his heater--is scheduled to show up at the Houston Astros spring training camp sometime soon to throw batting practice. He has a long-standing personal services contract offer with the team.
No word on which party will supply the gauze and syringes.
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